I will soon be releasing a cd and in the weeks following its release will write faithfully about the true stories 'behind the music.'
For those of you who are already familiar with my songs, maybe it won't be much of a change, but for those of you who are not, I will post songs on my myspace to correlate with the blog.
Get excited.
Much Love,
Rosie
About Me
- Rosie
- Life is good, Love is hard, Hope is imminent,But life is good. The way I see it: The question is always 'What have you got to lose?' If the answer is nothing, you absolutely have to do it.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Is your light on?
As I'm sitting down to write this blog, I find myself to be very apprehensive.
The mantra to my life I have created and tried to adopt is simple:
"The question is always 'What have you got to lose?' if the answer is nothing, you absolutely have to do it."
So why am I nervous?
Why are my fingers shaking as I begin to take you through this side of the music?
Because it is sheer honesty.
So welcome friends, lovers, haters, and strangers alike.
Here's my heart-wide open and exposed.
Good luck and godspeed in your reading endeavors. I have to admit it's a little mangled but in the end (is it the end?)...in the now, it is only black and blue-a bruise that looks worse than it actually feels and will mend in a month or less.
************************************************************************************
Have you ever had a friend? The kind of friend whom you included in all your daily activities whether it be going to the grocery store, going shopping, or grabbing a bite to eat. And you could tell this person anything and they would listen, likewise, they found comfort in your listening ear. And no matter what you said or whatever you were talking about it seemed to be so important and stimulating you didn't want to stop talking to them.
Ever.
And then some day, your friend, whom you've cared for and learned to love, doesn't need your listening ear. The paths of life and the change of seasons have caused you to drift, like an autumn leave, far away from your friend. And even though you might still need the shoulder of this friend to lean on from time to time...they're no longer there.
Does your body ever ache to have another really great, mind-boggling, meaningful conversation with them. Or even 5 minutes of a heated discussion. Anything just to have back a piece of something so great you once had, and probably took for granted everyday that you had it.
And now, looking back, you'd give almost anything to just have a solid, grounded talk with no friendship politics involved.
All you want is a look in the eye.
I just missed my friend.
I missed knowing that I had such an interesting, completely unlike me, reliable, honest friend who had always been there for me, even when I tried to push him away.
And I missed this version of my almost too-perfect, felt like a dream, or a robot because it was out of the storybooks...must have been coin-operated, male-friend.
I missed being able to call up my friend whenever I wanted tp vent about the latest 'girl drama', and I missed going to the nearest fast food place for a quick bite to eat, or going to a movie last minute, or talking about 'what I want to be when I grow up', or inventing new ways to re-define the term boredom, or...
Or, just being together.
And spending an hour enjoying each other's company.
And not feeling awkward, if there were awkward silences.
And knowing if I ever needed to cry, I would have a shoulder, waiting for me to cry on.
And I still miss my friend.
But I know now that my friend isn't the same friend I had (what feels like) so many years ago.
People change...don't they?
I don't know if I can completely agree with that statement. People can change but some part of their old self can be spotted if you dig; dig deep...you might be surprised...or you will be completely let down and find that people do indeed change 100% and their old, magnificent-selves are nowhere to be found.
Well I'm betting on the good.
Looking for the good in people and in this situation.
Even though a friend was lost and a foe found, somewhere, somehow there's got to be some sort of code that can be cracked to rekindle a friendship, just a friendship, that once upon a time, was sweet but went sour.
The mantra to my life I have created and tried to adopt is simple:
"The question is always 'What have you got to lose?' if the answer is nothing, you absolutely have to do it."
So why am I nervous?
Why are my fingers shaking as I begin to take you through this side of the music?
Because it is sheer honesty.
So welcome friends, lovers, haters, and strangers alike.
Here's my heart-wide open and exposed.
Good luck and godspeed in your reading endeavors. I have to admit it's a little mangled but in the end (is it the end?)...in the now, it is only black and blue-a bruise that looks worse than it actually feels and will mend in a month or less.
************************************************************************************
Have you ever had a friend? The kind of friend whom you included in all your daily activities whether it be going to the grocery store, going shopping, or grabbing a bite to eat. And you could tell this person anything and they would listen, likewise, they found comfort in your listening ear. And no matter what you said or whatever you were talking about it seemed to be so important and stimulating you didn't want to stop talking to them.
Ever.
And then some day, your friend, whom you've cared for and learned to love, doesn't need your listening ear. The paths of life and the change of seasons have caused you to drift, like an autumn leave, far away from your friend. And even though you might still need the shoulder of this friend to lean on from time to time...they're no longer there.
Does your body ever ache to have another really great, mind-boggling, meaningful conversation with them. Or even 5 minutes of a heated discussion. Anything just to have back a piece of something so great you once had, and probably took for granted everyday that you had it.
And now, looking back, you'd give almost anything to just have a solid, grounded talk with no friendship politics involved.
All you want is a look in the eye.
But once you cross the bridge from friendship to lets try a relationship, nothing is fair game. Everything is shocking, and everything is twelve times worse.
You know how you always hear, "Don't date your best friend...you can never go back..." I'm beginning to think that's completely true. I'm hoping its not, and that there's still more on the other side of this battle, but I'm not about to go blue-in-the-face, holding my breath.
I'm just asking for some sort of sheer honest attempt to resolve whatever space might be between what is and isn't being said.
But then you mind starts to wander, and you begin to think...
Do you want to even be my friend? Or don't you care whether I'm in your life or not?
Isn't that a terrible feeling? Wondering if someone legitimately wants to befriend you.
Well if you don't know...it is the WORST.
Absolute pits.
I just missed my friend.
I missed knowing that I had such an interesting, completely unlike me, reliable, honest friend who had always been there for me, even when I tried to push him away.
And I missed this version of my almost too-perfect, felt like a dream, or a robot because it was out of the storybooks...must have been coin-operated, male-friend.
I missed being able to call up my friend whenever I wanted tp vent about the latest 'girl drama', and I missed going to the nearest fast food place for a quick bite to eat, or going to a movie last minute, or talking about 'what I want to be when I grow up', or inventing new ways to re-define the term boredom, or...
Or, just being together.
And spending an hour enjoying each other's company.
And not feeling awkward, if there were awkward silences.
And knowing if I ever needed to cry, I would have a shoulder, waiting for me to cry on.
And I still miss my friend.
But I know now that my friend isn't the same friend I had (what feels like) so many years ago.
People change...don't they?
I don't know if I can completely agree with that statement. People can change but some part of their old self can be spotted if you dig; dig deep...you might be surprised...or you will be completely let down and find that people do indeed change 100% and their old, magnificent-selves are nowhere to be found.
Well I'm betting on the good.
Looking for the good in people and in this situation.
Even though a friend was lost and a foe found, somewhere, somehow there's got to be some sort of code that can be cracked to rekindle a friendship, just a friendship, that once upon a time, was sweet but went sour.
*************************************************************************************
There it is folks.
Leave the Light On.
Open and exposed.
Stay tuned...Next week will unveil the secrets of another Rosie original
Much Love,
Rosie
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
I held my breath and you held my heart.
Here's the story...some necessary background information needed to understand Fargo's Rose.
It's so ironic, looking back at my prior post, reading my cynicism about Molly and Jason and their fairytale love story, but believing this type of thing only happens in Hollywood. Ironically, a few months later I found myself to be in a similar situation to both Molly and then Melissa.
For those of you who followed that particular season of The Bachelor religiously understand. But for those of you who did not, here's a simple explantation.
Melissa:
The favorite from the beginning. The girl everyone thought would end up with her Prada knight who had no reason doubt Jason's sincerity and intentions. Unfortunately, a rug was pulled form beneath her feet as Jason confessed his true feelings..err... un-confessed his feelings for her.
Yeah, I'm both of those girls, combined into one hot mess.
Coincidentally over the same man.
The same BOY.
The same boy who has caused me to gain pound after pound as a result of the massive amounts of ice cream consumed in the last four years. And that is something I will never forgive him for.
Naturally, this escapade of my summer was an inspirational one. Usually I am flowing with lyrics. They seem to come easily and I typically don't have to work too hard to find a great line that expresses exactly how I'm feeling, exactly the way I am feeling it. But for 2 1/2 months of my summer I found myself to be lyric-less.
Speechless.
Unable to formulate a complete sentence with proper punctuation?
So how do you say what you need to say if you can't even utter the words that you want to write?
The ones you you need to say to get them off of your chest and out of your soul so you can breathe again.
Most of the summer I played instrumental piano pieces and the only lyric that ran through my head was I miss you. Can I miss you? I'll still be here. If you will be.
And although a lot of my pieces are sappy love-songs, want-you-back, wish you loved me...too bad you don't, I'll get through, girl-anthem, feel okay with it and move on type of songs, they couldn't all have this lyric, could they?
But eventually, the words came.
When I stopped trying to make them come.
They just fell out of my mouth.
I was just talking to myself.
Talking to someone who wasn't there; and the words fell out.
Easy.
Simple.
Honest.
To the point.
But the few (only 3) songs that came out of my overly confusing, sappy, lack of sunshine-filled summer are my favorites. For that sole reason-they are easy, simple, honest, and to the point.
And as much as I love the organized chaos of holding my breath and letting someone else hold my heart for awhile, its nice to know somethings can stay in a very simple state.
And still be so strong and effective.
Not everything has to be complicated with layers of cobwebs and heartbreak.
Some things can be simple.
And simple can be okay.
It's so ironic, looking back at my prior post, reading my cynicism about Molly and Jason and their fairytale love story, but believing this type of thing only happens in Hollywood. Ironically, a few months later I found myself to be in a similar situation to both Molly and then Melissa.
For those of you who followed that particular season of The Bachelor religiously understand. But for those of you who did not, here's a simple explantation.
Molly:
The girl who got away but crept back into Jason's heart as soon as he realized what he had lost. Jason, the ever honest warrior, followed his heart, took a huge risk, and found a way to beg her to forgive him and take him back.Melissa:
The favorite from the beginning. The girl everyone thought would end up with her Prada knight who had no reason doubt Jason's sincerity and intentions. Unfortunately, a rug was pulled form beneath her feet as Jason confessed his true feelings..err... un-confessed his feelings for her.
Yeah, I'm both of those girls, combined into one hot mess.
Coincidentally over the same man.
The same BOY.
The same boy who has caused me to gain pound after pound as a result of the massive amounts of ice cream consumed in the last four years. And that is something I will never forgive him for.
Naturally, this escapade of my summer was an inspirational one. Usually I am flowing with lyrics. They seem to come easily and I typically don't have to work too hard to find a great line that expresses exactly how I'm feeling, exactly the way I am feeling it. But for 2 1/2 months of my summer I found myself to be lyric-less.
Speechless.
Unable to formulate a complete sentence with proper punctuation?
So how do you say what you need to say if you can't even utter the words that you want to write?
The ones you you need to say to get them off of your chest and out of your soul so you can breathe again.
Most of the summer I played instrumental piano pieces and the only lyric that ran through my head was I miss you. Can I miss you? I'll still be here. If you will be.
And although a lot of my pieces are sappy love-songs, want-you-back, wish you loved me...too bad you don't, I'll get through, girl-anthem, feel okay with it and move on type of songs, they couldn't all have this lyric, could they?
But eventually, the words came.
When I stopped trying to make them come.
They just fell out of my mouth.
I was just talking to myself.
Talking to someone who wasn't there; and the words fell out.
Easy.
Simple.
Honest.
To the point.
But the few (only 3) songs that came out of my overly confusing, sappy, lack of sunshine-filled summer are my favorites. For that sole reason-they are easy, simple, honest, and to the point.
And as much as I love the organized chaos of holding my breath and letting someone else hold my heart for awhile, its nice to know somethings can stay in a very simple state.
And still be so strong and effective.
Not everything has to be complicated with layers of cobwebs and heartbreak.
Some things can be simple.
And simple can be okay.
So join this adventure with me. I am so inspired by great lyrics and when I know what a lyric means or what the song is about, it means that much more to me. So, each week I will post the real meanings behind each of my songs. . . I guess I should keep writing so I don't run out of pieces! I will write about the inspiration, the thought process behind it, what season it was in, and maybe even what I was wearing that day.
*The question is always
'What have you got to lose?'
If the answer is nothing, you absolutely have to do it.
Much Love,
Rosie
Monday, March 2, 2009
Change: Yes We Can
Being an avid fan of The Bachelor I have faithfully tuned in each week to watch an agonizingly long 2-hour episode each Monday night. I have watched as America's sweetheart, Jason Mesnick, has given out a red, long-stem rose to the girls whom he thinks will win over his heart in the end. Although I have mostly agreed with his decisions this season (except Jillian, poor Jillian) his final stunt is a change no one was ready for.
The Finale episode started with Jason bringing Melissa on a hometown date (err..sort of...his family was there but they were in New Zealand...what?) and finally meeting the infamous Ty. The date went well, his family adored Melissa and Ty loved her from the get go.
Next it was Molly's turn to meet the fam. It also went well but there seemed to be a definite bond between Melissa and Ty that Molly just couldn't touch.
As the episode dragged on DeAnna came back..dun dun DUN!
Why was she there you may ask?
Oh just to shed some 'friendly' advice on the situation and encourage Jason to pick the girl he sees himself with forever; not just for fun for awhile (since she and Jesse the snowboarding-long haired- adventurer and her did not work out, at all). And that's exactly what Jason did.
In the end, Jason picked Melissa and let Molly go. He got down on one knee and presented Melissa with a huge rock! It was obvious that Jason was really torn up about Molly though, as he wept over the side of the glass balcony and convulsed while tears dramatically streamed from his face. But on the post bachelor special...everything changed.
Jason first came out to talk to Chris (ah, worthless Chris) and explained to America that he did not see himself with Melissa forever. He could not get thoughts of Molly out of his head. He had decided he was going to
A)Break up with Melissa
B)Beg for Molly to take him back
C)Do this ALL on National television.
Great choice buddy.
As you can imagine everyone was shocked. How could this happen? Melissa was so torn apart because after 3 months of believing she was engaged to the man she was going to marry, he comes back only to tell her, not that they can finally have a real, open relationship, known to the public, but that he is no longer in love with her and finds himself in love with Molly. Awful. That's just horrible. Poor girl, didn't know what hit her.
And then Molly. That lucky bitch. How many times does that genuinely happen? Someone you love says, 'hey babe, its just not you; you're great and everything but I'm not in love with you and I don't see forever.' You go through the awful heartbreak and the questions why and try to make sense of it all and IN THE END your love, this knight in shining Prada, comes back to beg for a second change because they admit they've made a mistake by letting you go. Sigh. Maybe I'm just jealous because, as Molly said she has only dreamt that Jason would "Show up at my door" just to confess his love to her. But how many times does that second chance actually happen? It's Unbelievable. It's Outrageous. It's Change
Already there has been an uproar from the public. Every other facebook status reads something along the lines of "Is shocked by The Bachelor" "Hates Jason Mesnick" "What a prick...poor Melissa". Its outrageous how many people will willingly admit to watching addictingly poor reality television (myself included).
Jason Mesnick.
What the hell is the matter with you? Shame on you for being to indecisive.
But good for you, for following your heart.
The Finale episode started with Jason bringing Melissa on a hometown date (err..sort of...his family was there but they were in New Zealand...what?) and finally meeting the infamous Ty. The date went well, his family adored Melissa and Ty loved her from the get go.
Next it was Molly's turn to meet the fam. It also went well but there seemed to be a definite bond between Melissa and Ty that Molly just couldn't touch.
As the episode dragged on DeAnna came back..dun dun DUN!
Why was she there you may ask?
Oh just to shed some 'friendly' advice on the situation and encourage Jason to pick the girl he sees himself with forever; not just for fun for awhile (since she and Jesse the snowboarding-long haired- adventurer and her did not work out, at all). And that's exactly what Jason did.
In the end, Jason picked Melissa and let Molly go. He got down on one knee and presented Melissa with a huge rock! It was obvious that Jason was really torn up about Molly though, as he wept over the side of the glass balcony and convulsed while tears dramatically streamed from his face. But on the post bachelor special...everything changed.
Jason first came out to talk to Chris (ah, worthless Chris) and explained to America that he did not see himself with Melissa forever. He could not get thoughts of Molly out of his head. He had decided he was going to
A)Break up with Melissa
B)Beg for Molly to take him back
C)Do this ALL on National television.
Great choice buddy.
As you can imagine everyone was shocked. How could this happen? Melissa was so torn apart because after 3 months of believing she was engaged to the man she was going to marry, he comes back only to tell her, not that they can finally have a real, open relationship, known to the public, but that he is no longer in love with her and finds himself in love with Molly. Awful. That's just horrible. Poor girl, didn't know what hit her.
And then Molly. That lucky bitch. How many times does that genuinely happen? Someone you love says, 'hey babe, its just not you; you're great and everything but I'm not in love with you and I don't see forever.' You go through the awful heartbreak and the questions why and try to make sense of it all and IN THE END your love, this knight in shining Prada, comes back to beg for a second change because they admit they've made a mistake by letting you go. Sigh. Maybe I'm just jealous because, as Molly said she has only dreamt that Jason would "Show up at my door" just to confess his love to her. But how many times does that second chance actually happen? It's Unbelievable. It's Outrageous. It's Change
Already there has been an uproar from the public. Every other facebook status reads something along the lines of "Is shocked by The Bachelor" "Hates Jason Mesnick" "What a prick...poor Melissa". Its outrageous how many people will willingly admit to watching addictingly poor reality television (myself included).
Jason Mesnick.
What the hell is the matter with you? Shame on you for being to indecisive.
But good for you, for following your heart.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Fat Tuesday
Jeepers, doesn't it seem like we just got gone with Christmas? And now we're steering right into Lent. I am really not looking forward to the drab the priests start to wear and no flowers. Yuck. I really hate it.
For lent I am going to work out MORE...I feel like that's a good penance since I hate working out right?
And I am getting sick so that's miserable. And its not even like stuffy, runny nose...achy all over (ha), its just my throat.
Perfect.
I'm losing my voice.
Last night me and Kristin had a good ol' sober slumber party! It was fabulous. We got take out sushi and discovered that ordering the regular salmon roll and just suggesting that they add the cream cheese is like $3.00 cheaper than the Philadelphia roll (which is the same thing!) haha cheating the system. Then we watched the Oscars with Tivo which was amazing b/c we just watched what we wanted. Then Kristin said something like:
K Fry: I'm in the mood for a good, quality, love story
Rosie: Oh Legends of the Fall is a love story...
Apparently I hadn't seen it for awhile and forgot that some peopl sort of fall in love...but everyone dies! AH depressing!
Oscars:
I am genuinely upset that Brad Pitt didn't win. What a shame.
But so ecstatic that Kate finally got an Oscar! AH! She has 6 nominations, and is the youngest person EVER to have that many at that age (she's 34 or 35..). Good for her. And let's face it. Her best acting gig and maybe the move she should the most proud of is "The Holiday." I know its my personal favorite.
Unfortunately, that's as exciting as my life gets.
I am going to take so Nyquill and go to sleep.
Sweet Dreams .
For lent I am going to work out MORE...I feel like that's a good penance since I hate working out right?
And I am getting sick so that's miserable. And its not even like stuffy, runny nose...achy all over (ha), its just my throat.
Perfect.
I'm losing my voice.
Last night me and Kristin had a good ol' sober slumber party! It was fabulous. We got take out sushi and discovered that ordering the regular salmon roll and just suggesting that they add the cream cheese is like $3.00 cheaper than the Philadelphia roll (which is the same thing!) haha cheating the system. Then we watched the Oscars with Tivo which was amazing b/c we just watched what we wanted. Then Kristin said something like:
K Fry: I'm in the mood for a good, quality, love story
Rosie: Oh Legends of the Fall is a love story...
Apparently I hadn't seen it for awhile and forgot that some peopl sort of fall in love...but everyone dies! AH depressing!
Oscars:
I am genuinely upset that Brad Pitt didn't win. What a shame.
But so ecstatic that Kate finally got an Oscar! AH! She has 6 nominations, and is the youngest person EVER to have that many at that age (she's 34 or 35..). Good for her. And let's face it. Her best acting gig and maybe the move she should the most proud of is "The Holiday." I know its my personal favorite.
Unfortunately, that's as exciting as my life gets.
I am going to take so Nyquill and go to sleep.
Sweet Dreams .
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
No better time than the present
You'd think that phrase "No better time than the present" would be a positive anecdote to force you to accomplish things immediately instead of waiting until a later date to accomplish something. This much is true, expect Brita and I use this saying when its 1:00 am, we still have homework, and there is 'No better time than the present' than to look up the schedule of artists playing at the Cork and Cleaver throughout March.
Not surprising.
Saturday, I ran out of gas in my car. It was the first time this has EVER happened, although I am notorious for driving with the gas light on for miles and miles, crossing my fingers and hoping I can make it to my next stop. Well, this time I did not succeed. I ran out of gas a mere 10 feet from Tesoro. Ugh, I was upset. So, I called Daddy, he laughed, and brought me a gas tank so I could travel less than 5 seconds to get gas...that was exciting.
What else is new in Fargo Land? Not much. Spring break is just around the corner and it couldn't come any sooner! American Idol is on tonight and I will be keeping close tabs on Adam Lambert and my new facebook friend, Matt Giraud(remember him..sang the Gavin DeGraw cover, and it was fabulous) :)
I have a show coming up this Saturday Feb. 21st, following the Celebration of Women and their Music, which I am super excited about! I will be playing a 1/2 hour set and Brenda Weiler will be playing for about 1/2 hour to follow. I have a few new songs about. . .well, life :) and I'm so excited to sing them :)
That's all for now..More to come from soon
Much Love,
Rosie
Not surprising.
Saturday, I ran out of gas in my car. It was the first time this has EVER happened, although I am notorious for driving with the gas light on for miles and miles, crossing my fingers and hoping I can make it to my next stop. Well, this time I did not succeed. I ran out of gas a mere 10 feet from Tesoro. Ugh, I was upset. So, I called Daddy, he laughed, and brought me a gas tank so I could travel less than 5 seconds to get gas...that was exciting.
What else is new in Fargo Land? Not much. Spring break is just around the corner and it couldn't come any sooner! American Idol is on tonight and I will be keeping close tabs on Adam Lambert and my new facebook friend, Matt Giraud(remember him..sang the Gavin DeGraw cover, and it was fabulous) :)
I have a show coming up this Saturday Feb. 21st, following the Celebration of Women and their Music, which I am super excited about! I will be playing a 1/2 hour set and Brenda Weiler will be playing for about 1/2 hour to follow. I have a few new songs about. . .well, life :) and I'm so excited to sing them :)
That's all for now..More to come from soon
Much Love,
Rosie
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